Rekindling old friendships…
When you grow up with your friends & experience everything from tying your Pocahontas sneakers to changing career paths, at what point does it become time to say goodbye, allow them to grow & move on, all while knowing you are going to take them back when they’re done?
Recently, well since 2008, there has been someone in my life, lets call him “Biffle”. He had been dating my psychotic, delusional, cheating, slutty then best friend. Because of her ridiculous behavior, I was often thrown in the middle to mediate and was put under a spotlight, murderer, FBI style to determine whether she spent the night with me or her ex boyfriend (note: it was ALWAYS her ex boyfriend… yeah. what a peach.). My relationship with Biffle grew as we leaned on each other through all the hardships of our breaks ups, pains, work frustrations and just dealing with idiot, inbred morons on a daily basis.
Clearly, they broke up, him and I remained friends, and so on. As time went on, she popped back in the picture. Now, imagine someone you have grown to love, depend on, and someone you’ve seen in so much pain you wish you could inflict it on yourself to take it from the, diving straight back into the one thing they have been fighting to get away from.
It ENRAGED me. I suffer from rage blackouts - dont judge me.
Call me a control freak, or really just a bitch, I couldn’t see it happen. There were hurtful words & pain and a ridiculous parting of ways. Recently, Biffle and I reconnected and it happens from time to time. We hate each other. We love each other. We love to hate. We hate to love. When it ends, we its painful. When we reconnect its like no time has passed and we’re back to where we left off. Tonight, was one of those rekindled nights where we havent spoken since April, and it was like nothing changed.
It got me thinking, is this normal? Do friendships often hit a point where you cant go any further until you’ve had a break? Do you NEED time off of from someone before you can commence what once was, or are you just not meant to be in each others lives and you’re fighting for the wrong reasons?
